A Change of Plan

I don’t want to move
There is no sense of love
Just when hope begins to shine through
Fate forces a’due

My heart aches
Life seems a pre-paid race
My body trembles
With a heart misassembled

Eyes full of hope
Devoured with a soak
Full of masochistic grim
Where confidence is slim

~Storm Chaser

I am...

The Lonely Sonnet

The once fearless flame
But a quiet ember
You do not know my name
Can you hear me whimper?

It seems all too simple
For you to just let me go
You didn’t even notice me, not even a little
As my heart began to slow

My heart earns for someone
I must accept the lonely
It’s hard for anyone
I try to think of you fondly


What you didn’t know
I had already let you go

Face Down

Do you know that you drive me crazy? One wrong and you have me going mad. I can't comprehend why your image still haunts me. My guilt rises as the memories flood in. Why didn't I see it coming? Why didn't I ask someone else? Why did I let him go that far? Why did I trust him? Why didn't I tell someone? Why can't I tell someone? My gut begs me to silence my fears from others ears. But my mind rages with questions and my mistakes that keep me awake at night. Did you know that his voice still haunts my head, his eyes are burned into mine, or that his ghost haunts my back? Did you know that my dreams are possessed by THAT night? Do you see a big label above my head glowing "I'm not human."? But my heart beats, my brain thinks, I can communicate with you... so i must be human! I don't feel human. When I look in the mirror I don't see a human... I see a THING that is FILTHY, USED, RUINED, VIOLATED, and WORTHLESS. I feel like eyes bare down on me, crushing my lungs, judging my every existence. But why do I feel that way? They don't know... They don't know me. So why worry? And why would they care about a girl who got her virginity rapped from her three years ago?


~Storm Chaser

Dangerous Thinking

My eyes are heavy from the day, sleep sounds like my cup of coffee. My head is confused, what should my emotion be? Happy? Nonchalant? Pissed? All of these emotions are at war in my heart. Do I have a right to be angry? Will being happy scare you away? Nonchalance might give you the wrong impression, letting you get away with something. SO CONFUSED! I miss your touch, your lips, the softness of your hands. I miss your voice and the sweet sadness in your eyes. How can I be mad at that? How can he "miss" me so much and do so little about it? What if he hurts me or is just using me? Fear enters the battle of emotions. My heart wants you, my stomach is nervous that my heart will break, and my head is raging with emotions too complex to explain! My eyes fill with tears as a headache sets in. I need to calm down, my lack of sleep is making my train of thought irrational. My final prayer of the night was: "Please give me the strength to do the right thing, even if it means breaking my own heart. Help him do the right thing too, it can't be a one person game. Please help me overcome the desire and stay on the path of destiny. Amen." And with that i blinked one last time before falling into a deep sleep, and dreamed of him.

~Storm Chaser

Unwanted Precious Memories

The sunset was weird today. I expected "strawberry milk" and "purple cotton candy" but instead I saw nothing by gray. Gray with fire where the sun should be. I got a chill down my spine as i thought about fire in the sky, though the chilly breeze didn't help the cause. I let out a sigh as I got closer to my car. "It would be nice if someone was with me to hold my hand and laugh as I slipped and skidded across the parking lot..." THERE I GO AGAIN! Why can't I keep him off my mind?! When I turn on my car A Fine Frenzy's "Almost Lover" comes through the speakers. I wanted to die, not only is the universe punishing me but it's mocking my misery too! I want to call him, scream at him, punch him, make him hurt like I am! I want to hold his hand, look him in the eyes, kiss him like none of this ever happened! "Should've known you'd bring me heartache, almost lovers always do." Stupid song.


~Storm Chaser